diedinnewyork | Private to aggravating [Video] 004.

For you, dear, I have five whole minutes.

[No, but seriously]

Shoot.

Not here. Anyplace I can meet you?

[long pause] I have scotch.

[One bottle. One lousy stinking bottle. But it's prison so he will trade it for information.]

[You have said the magic freaking word]

Yeah, your place or my place? --Actually, no. Not my place.

[He lives next door to a crazy-ass spy]

Give me the room and break open the bottle.

My room. [Insert room number] Nothing fancy but it's private. I wanted to ask about a friend of yours.

[And when he arrives it'll open into a rather cozy private space with a few knick-knacks on the wall and a bed shoved unceremoniously in the corner. There's a table and a few chairs and a pair of glasses and a bottle.]

1930 bottle of scotch. Gift from President Richard Nixon.

[He'll be down in a few minutes, just sort of sauntering his way in, kicking the door shut behind him, and plopping himself down in the chair.

He whistles a bit, appreciatively, as he reaches for the bottle to inspect the labeling on it]

Damn. The good stuff, then. [Hey, he'll even the pour the stuff for the both of them] Let me guess, you wanna know if Cap is really that much of a sugar coated boyscout, or if he's some sort of puppy powered android.

[He doesn't have many friends, let alone here on the barge. Not that hard to sort of make assumptions.]

That's what you get for saving the lives of a bunch of American diplomats. [He's referring to the Iranian Hostage Crisis. Which he single-handedly solved. Boo-Ya.]

...Did he take you off ship to go fight a bunch of fucking aliens?

Also what you get for having a little fun with their daughters.

[..... Yup.]

No. Missed out on the invite to go play in their alien sandbox. [He takes a sip of the scotch] Okay, this? This is good. I'm ordering whatever's left from this year as soon as I get home.

I was there, but I haven't been there, yet. Spangles is two years ahead of me, whatever that means.

[At the daughter comment, the older man's eyes narrow. He's about to mutter something when he hears about the ordering and grins] Dick knew how to fucking pay a man for an honest day's work.

[He tilts his own glass back] enjoy this now cause that's my last fucking bottle.

...Two years ahead of you? [He glares] ...This whole boat is one big Manhattan style mindfuck. I kept asking if the doc was the fucking admiral but...

[He shakes his head] so he didn't take you off the ship to go battle monsters. Damn. You two know each other?

[He'll just shrug and say he was in his twenties and was a playboy of epic proportions, but hey. Distractions are the best]

Next port, we're raiding a liquor store. Or a mansion. I can spot the good stuff in a house from what kind of front lawn people have.

[He just sort of makes a face at that] Yeah, really interested in what that fight was all about.

Before the ship? I knew of him. I'm 2010, he's 1943... and 2011, apparently. He fell into the ocean and turned into a Capsicle for almost 70 years. My dad built the machines that helped buff him up, and financed teams to try and find him after the plane went down. So I grew up with stories. And comics.

...Comics?

[He shakes his head] they wrote comics 'bout me and all the other fucking masks. Movies too. This guy have movies?

[He shakes his head] Sun Zu said know thy enemy. He an enemy? Somebody I gotta watch out for?

Comics, movies, a crappy theme song. The whole nine yards. [He grins] Get me a bit more towards drunk and I'll sing it for you.

[Okay, now he's just... laughing]

Steve, an enemy? Are you kidding me? He's like- well, I mean. Unless you're going to blow up America or, apparently, lead an alien invasion, then yeah, he's an enemy. But otherwise he's like... fucking cotton candy or something. He doesn't even swear. And I think he'd literally curl up and cry if you didn't know the national anthem.

[amused snort. Well, half-way amused. Then he looks serious.] Patriots can be dangerous in their own ways.

They tried to make me out like that. Themesong, movies, comics. I set that shit straight when I killed Kennedy. No such thing as heroes.

[he shakes his head] So, what it's his cover? He goes out and kills foreign dictators that kinda thing?

[He tenses up a little at that, his expression sort of hardening as he swirls the liquid in his drink a bit]

For the record? Saying you killed Kennedy would probably get you on the instant punch in the face list for half the people on board. [But he's still in the chair, still gossiping, and still drinking.

He's shared space with worse men]

He sang and danced in the USO before he single-handedly rescued half of the 107th from behind German lines. Apparently there was also some sort of deranged, skull-faced Nazi he killed, too. So yeah. Kind of.

...Fuck you think I wanted to? I go where I'm told. They made a whole bunch of movies about me too for the war effort. then I get told I have to retire. Picture somebody asking you to stop being you. Then they tell you these guys have to die for the good of the nation. give you a list.

Not sure how it works for any other world but those nuts back home had it right. Grassy knoll. I feel bad for Oswald. Didn't know half of what was going on. [and what's worse is he sounds like he feels bad.]

...and you get this place. [he laughs, sipping his own drink.]

I stopped believing in feeling a long time ago. Feelings get you killed.

[and he grins] Danced in the USO. ...No shit.

[He's just kind of listening, eyebrows raised in genuine interest, even though his face is more... well. The expression he uses in business meetings.]

Grassy knoll, pretty sure it was Oswald, where I'm from. Never proved or disproved it. [He takes a quick sip of his drink] I wasn't born yet, but I've seen the tapes. I know the history. How our world was set up, we probably could have used him for a few more years, but hey. Multiverse. [Finally, his grin is a bit more natural] For all I know your Kennedy could have been into slavery or something.

[As for feelings? Yeah. They get you killed. And they get other people killed, too. Especially when you're behind a mask, in a suit, fighting tooth and nail for a better day to come along.

But he's not saying any of that.]

He had a whole chorus line behind him. Did the strong man act with girls on a bike, held up above his head. Sold war bonds, punched out Hitler with every performance. [... God he loves gossip]

...Dude punched out Hitler?

[He looks interested] ...fuck. Good on him. In shows or out that Kraut deserves a good hit.

and he's, what-your idol? Your hero?

[Not so subtle attempt to manipulate the conversation there.]

Apparently. [Sip sip] It was some USO show mostly, but hey. It's Cap. He probably kicked him in the balls and is just too golden to brag about it.

[Eddie. That. Is just earning a half amused look that he's trying to turn into a scowl and glare]

Yeah, no. He's an icon, that's all. Pretty sure my dad had a crush on him, seeing as he wouldn't shut up about finding him, but no. I've always been more into electronics. Robotics.

My hero was the microprocessor.

...Shit. [Eddie shrugs] I've seen those things. Dunno if they'll go anywhere or not. Osterman was into that kind of thing before he went nuclear and turned into Manhattan. The dynamics of time and life and all that shit and now he's a big naked blue fucker who doesn't give a shit.

Let that be a lesson to you. [He points] don't mess too hard or you too'll end up being a big half-naked blue fucker who doesn't give a shit. I thought he was the admiral for awhile.

Private to aggravating [Video] 004.

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